Where Are We?

The typical answer to this question in the adoption world is "waiting" and that is my answer now. Our check cleared today from USCIS, so I am hoping to get our fingerprint appointment in the mail in the next week. I don't know if that is a pipe dream or not, but a girl can dream. I am thinking that our appointment will be three weeks after that and then we get our "okay" about a week to two after that. A whole bunch of hurry up and wait. I just want to get on that wait list to wait some more! That makes no sense, does it?

Sick of Being Sick!

Why is it that I can't get healthy this winter? It has been brutal! I don't know that my sinuses have been clear since September. Strep throat last week and the amoxicillin isn't clearing what I think is a sinus infection. Go away bugs! Leave me and my children alone! How obnoxious is all of this? My goal is to be completely healthy by Drew's birthday, which is coming up next week! My guy is going to be four! Oh my goodness! Gotta tell you, though, that he is a smart little bugger and pretty darn funny. But, four? That's crazy talk. I need to cuddle that little guy more. Before I know it, he'll be a teenager.

Moving On

So, God's plan was different than what I had anticipated. I suppose I can work with that! So, yesterday, we sent in our I-600A paperwork to Dallas. This is mainly asking for permission to bring a little one into the country. I have been told that it shouldn't take more than 45 days to process. Really? 45 days? To look me up and see that I am not a criminal? That shouldn't take that long. I have a feeling it is because of the whole "Smith" thing. Might be a few of those to look through. Then, we have to go to Des Moines for more fingerprinting. Apparently, the government can't just use the ones we had done over the summer. They need fresh ones. Oh, and more money, too. Ah yes, the government hard at work. After we have our finalized forms from the immigration department, we can finally send in our dossier to Holt, and then they send it to Ethiopia, and then we get on the wait list. Hoping we make it to the wait list by Easter. We shall see!

The News

So, for one month now, we have been anticipating whether or not we would be the parents of a little girl from Korea. We got news yesterday....the answer was no. It was a word I had considered that we may hear, yet the word still stung. No? Why? What is wrong with my family? Why would you think that we wouldn't be a good family for this little one? All of these questions still run through my head and they are still unanswered. Unfortunately, I don't know the answers and probably never will. Going in to the adoption realm, I knew that God had a plan for me and my family. For the last month, I thought I had an idea as to what that plan might be...I was wrong. That doesn't mean that it is good or bad...just that I was on the wrong track. I still feel badly that this little girl won't be living under the same roof as me, getting presents from Santa with my boys, and smiling with us in our family pictures. It wasn't meant to be. I left this whole thing in God's hands and He is who I look to for direction. He is pointing me elsewhere, to a little girl who is waiting just for me. I will keep looking for her.

Going Crazy!

Okay, so the reason we are considering a different option is because we found a waiting child that we are in love with, so we applied to adopt her. There is one other family who has decided to proceed with her as well, so now we are waiting to hear who Holt believes would be the better family for her. We have been in "limbo" for over two weeks now and it will be at least another week before we hear anything. This is a very hard thing...and my heart is breaking. The other family decided late to proceed, so I kind of had it in my head that this little girl could be ours. That was a mistake. We are told not to bond with the waiting children for this reason...I got too attached and was picturing this little one in our family. I should have known better. I had another "Give it to God" moment and am leaving it in His hands. If we the chosen family, I will be so thrilled, and if we are not...it will be very upsetting, but then God is telling me to proceed in Ethiopia. The saddest part for me will be deleting all of her information. I used to look at her picture every day...not wanting to go one day without seeing her pretty little face. Since we found out there is another family in the mix, I have tried to distance myself, but that is so hard. I fell in love with this little girl! Dear God, please do what you think is best for this little one and keep this mommy strong.

Beanbag Tournament

Last night, we held a beanbag tournament at Courtside here in Dubuque. We opened it to our friends and then they opened it to their friends. A good time was had by all! It was nice to just get out of the house and hang out with other adults! We are truly thankful to those that came out in support of our adoption. You have no idea how grateful to are to all of you. Next up is bowling in March. I won't bombard Facebook with that yet. But, that will happen. Oh yes...it will. God Bless Our Family & Friends.

Up in the Air

There have been alot of changes with the Ethiopia program lately and, frankly, it doesn't seem as though many of them have been good. The process is even longer now and isn't getting any cheaper. I have found myself wondering what I am getting into. I know that in the end, time will not matter, and a year really isn't a long time. We have considered another option (no, not pregnancy) and will see how it pans out. I will certainly keep everyone posted. Until then!