Keeping My Distance

I had a thought tonight.  With all the paperwork and such on my mind, sometimes you lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel.  But, one must go on!  I was just thinking of the moment when my daughter is handed to me.  I can almost feel her in my arms.  I don't know what she looks like, but I can feel her.  This is the first time that I have thought about that.  Since our infertility issues, I have learned to never get too excited about things, because sometimes things just don't work out as planned.  Thankfully, I have three beautiful and sweet little boys, but it wasn't an easy road.  I have kept a comfortable distance from the feelings that I have about this little girl that is in my mind.  I have not really let her into my heart yet because I am fearful that things, again, may not work out.  Tonight though, I am feeling some changes.....changes that bring me to believe that this is going to happen...that this little girl will be here, although maybe not in my timing but in His, and that she will have a mommy and daddy and three brothers that will love her.  I simply cannot wait to hold her and tell her how much I love her.