Going Crazy!

Okay, so the reason we are considering a different option is because we found a waiting child that we are in love with, so we applied to adopt her. There is one other family who has decided to proceed with her as well, so now we are waiting to hear who Holt believes would be the better family for her. We have been in "limbo" for over two weeks now and it will be at least another week before we hear anything. This is a very hard thing...and my heart is breaking. The other family decided late to proceed, so I kind of had it in my head that this little girl could be ours. That was a mistake. We are told not to bond with the waiting children for this reason...I got too attached and was picturing this little one in our family. I should have known better. I had another "Give it to God" moment and am leaving it in His hands. If we the chosen family, I will be so thrilled, and if we are not...it will be very upsetting, but then God is telling me to proceed in Ethiopia. The saddest part for me will be deleting all of her information. I used to look at her picture every day...not wanting to go one day without seeing her pretty little face. Since we found out there is another family in the mix, I have tried to distance myself, but that is so hard. I fell in love with this little girl! Dear God, please do what you think is best for this little one and keep this mommy strong.